”Doug Sanders, professional golfer: “I’m working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch on Tuesday, everything will be perfect.”Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers pitcher: “All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there is a fat guy doing great. Bring me another beer.’”Tommy Lasorda, Los Angeles Dodgers manager: “I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having them.”E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only. Does she really feel desire for me, or is it something else entirely? Maybe she is just sorry for me, with Logan being away so long. I give her breast a gentle kiss and sit back away from her a bit.“Storm, are you sure this is vhat you vish? Forgive me for being rather blunt, but I do not vant vhat is called a mercy fuck.”She did not laugh, as I almost imagined she would. “Is that what you really think I’m doing?”“Vell, I vas not sure. Most vimmen –““I assure you, I am not most vimmen.”Before I can begin to wonder if I have insulted her, she touches my cheek, tracing lightly over one of the scars. “Don’t worry, that’s not what I’m offering. You may not have noticed, but I’ve been attracted to you from the first moment I met you in that old church in Boston. I almost approached you a couple of times after Alkali Lake, but you left so soon I never found a chance.”“I noticed,” I admit. “I never could dismiss from my mind the vay it felt to hold you in my arms vhen I.
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